The Untouchable's Gift
by AZ1087653
Summary: Many humans have 'the need'. How do you go about the 'natural' when touching someone is likely to kill them? That's what having friends is for. To answer the question for you. Rated M for subject matter.


This story is loosely based on something I did for a friend of mine after she sent me a stripping drag queen for my birthday one year. He was the nicest man I'd ever met, in all honesty, and was nice enough not to take his clothes off for me! (We try to come up with the most outrageous birthday gifts for each other every year.)

I don't own X-Men: Evolution, or any type of X-Men, for that matter. I know Remy doesn't speak in the third person in this series, but whenever I think of him, his speech comes out in the third person.

The characters of Banshee, Lockheed and Dan do not appear in the Evolution television series, they're in the comic books and Banshee does make an appearance in the cartoon from the 90's.

The story takes place in the fourth season; Gambit is in his early to mid twenties, and Rogue is seventeen, since I don't recall her having a birthday while the series ran. If the story resembles, in any way, another's work, I apologize. I haven't read all the stories on this site.

This piece is rated for subject matter.

/GG/

The Untouchable's Gift

To borrow from Austin, and revamp so it fits the situation; it is a truth acknowledged by many humans, and some other primates, that once you reach a certain age, there is a need. A need that may manifest for a great period of time or a short amount of time. It may come often or in sporadic spurts.

When this need comes, there are many ways of achieving satisfaction. Sex, mind control, masturbation. What happens to the one who can never have physical human contact? After a while, the pleasuring of ones self can get a little tedious. Carpal issues and all. This is how to handle the situation.

/GG/

Remy LeBeau, or as some called him, Gambit, sat in front of the computer, perusing the Internet for that perfect gift. Sure, it was one of the most inappropriate gifts he had ever considered getting an underage girl, or any girl for that matter. Had he ever thought about getting this type of gift for any other girl, he would have been slapped, spit on or kicked so hard in the groin he would never be able to father children.

Of course there was no other girl out there like Rogue either. She was more likely to drain his life energy and put him in a coma; or kill him. He didn't know.

The Internet was a funny thing and if he wasn't careful while playing around on some of the sites he was frequenting these days, he was probably going to charge the computer and blow up half the city. These Internet sites existed to be discreet and that's what he wanted to stay.

Walking into a store and ordering something like this was likely going to have any guys around, hitting on him, more than they used to and the rest of the Acolytes hounding him till the day that little X-Man, Bobby, went to hell and froze it over.

Remy clicked on the mouse and went to a site called Mutant Erotic Climaxes; their slogan – bang a mutant and no one has to know. This caused Remy to chuckle, especially when he saw that more than three million people had accessed the page in the last two years.

He searched through the options: dildos, vibrators, etc. He then hit on what he wanted.

"What in the Sam Hell is that mate?" Remy heard over his shoulder.

"What's it look like?"

"Looks to me like Remy's decided to play for the other team." Pyro said, gazing at the monstrosity on the screen. "What's it for?"

"You think if Gambit wanted you to know, maybe Gambit would have had you in here for the last few hours while I was searching?"

"Take it easy there mate, I was just curious." Pyro said, walking away.

Gambit started reading the description. "For the ultimate in private ecstasy, here is the one toy you'll ever need. Three interchangeable cocks; vibrator, pearl twister and pleasure shooter. This amazing creation comes with a mouth that really kisses and sucks, hands that massage and pinch and for those who enjoy the back end, an ass so tight it'll feel like a glove."

"Gambit don't think she'll need that part, but the others she might get some use out of. Either that or she'll have Gambit turned into a shish-kabob, courtesy of old Wolverine."

"You're not planning to send that thing to that little shelia of Xavier's are you?"

"Thought you left St. John."

"I was gonna, but I've got to ask, why in the name of Magneto's ex are you buying her one of those 'pleasure' dolls?" Pyro walked over to Gambit and looked at the description and laughed just as Gambit had a few minutes before.

"You and me, we don't have to worry about not being able be with others, non. She will never get the chance and if she do, it's bound to end up real bad or be so far in the future, she may not even want to try."

"You going soft on us Gambit?"

"Non, Gambit's not going soft." Remy snapped, choosing to put his face on the mannequin rather than have the company decided face.

Gambit hooked his phone up to the computer and sent a picture of himself to the company with his order.

"You did not just send a picture of yourself to that company." St. John asked, laughing his head off and accidentally starting the bookcase on fire.

Gambit gave Pyro a rye smile. "Gambit want her to think of me while she's using this."

/GG/

Four Weeks Later

"Aahhhhhhh!" Came an ear piercing shriek with enough oomph to put Banshee to shame.

Kitty ran through the hall and fell into her shared room with Rogue; a look of pure horror on her face.

"What is the matter with you?" Rogue asked, turning over on her bed and looking at the girl she shared a room with.

"Somebody killed that Gambit person you seem to be enamored with and send him to you in a box!" Kitty said, standing up and walking back and forth through the room. She wasn't paying attention to where she was going, or what she was doing, and continued to slip into the floor.

"What?" Rogue asked, waking up a little more.

"Someone killed the Acolyte!"

Rogue sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes. "How do you know?"

Kitty stopped floating in the floor and looked, sheepishly, at her room mate. "A big package arrived for you and I wanted to see what it was?"

"So you stuck your head in for a little peak?" Rogue asked, slipping her legs off the bed and standing up.

"Yeah. I'm sorry Rogue, but it's, like, two in the afternoon and it's been sitting there for hours. Lockheed and I wanted to know what it is."

"Tell your dragon if he sets my package on fire, I'm going to cook him and eat him." Rogue snapped, leaving the room in search of her package.

/GG/

Lockheed sat on his haunches, staring at the package that had sent his Kitty running through the mansion like it was on fire. He didn't normally think of her as his, but she did look pretty scared.

The package was rather large and he had heard Kitty shriek about a body being in the box. He was waiting for whoever was sending themselves to Rogue, to pop out and have a good laugh; or kill every one in sight. Either way, Lockheed was ready.

Lockheed watched as the Professor rolled into the room and looked at the box, obviously looking for any type of residue that could prove there was a living, or once living, person inside.

"I think Kitty got a little carried away Lockheed. There's no one in here, alive or dead." The Professor finally stated. "Make sure Rogue is the only one to take this. I doubt she'll be thrilled if someone else gets a look inside."

The Professor moved on and Lockheed was again watching the container. After a few more seconds, and a general message sent out to everyone from the Professor, advising there was no dead body in the front hall, Rogue came down the stairs and saw her package.

"You didn't mess with this, did you Lockheed?" Rogue asked, reaching down and trying to life the package. It was heavy. "What the hell is this? Maybe I should open it here?"

"I would get that to your room before you open it Rogue." The Professor said to her via his telepathic COM link.

"Why Professor, how do you know?" Rogue asked, picking the box up and starting toward his elevator.

"I did have to make sure Kitty was seeing things. In the case of that, I promise not to pry again, it's your business, not mine."

"What?" Rogue asked, setting the box down on the floor of the elevator and going up, Lockheed following close behind.

Rogue looked for a name on the box and didn't see one. The package was unmarked with only a small label, indicating its destination and the one for whom it was intended. Rogue wanted to open it in the elevator, but decided against it.

It took her ten minutes to lug the box back to her room. Normally it wouldn't have been that big of an issue, but since the box was long, that made the traveling a little bit harder. Kitty was sitting on her bed, reading a magazine.

"I got the professor's message." She said in a sullen tone.

"It's alright. I'll forgive you if you find me a pair of scissors." Rogue said, putting the box on her bed.

"I can see what it is?" Kitty asked excitedly as she grabbed a pair of scissors out of the drawer without actually opening it. "Can Lockheed stay?"

"I don't know what you see in that dragon?" Rogue said, taking the scissors and opening the box.

"He saved my life." Kitty stated matter-of-factly.

The two girls and the dragon stood over the box as Rogue started to pull back the cover of the box. There were two red eyes looking at both of them, making Kitty gasp slightly as Rogue cleared the packing popcorn off the face.

"It does look a little like him, doesn't it." Rogue said, confused.

"Why is his mouth open like that?" Kitty asked.

"I don't know." She answered, pulling the doll out of the box. Six sets of eyes went wide, when they realized there was no clothing on the toy.

"Why's he, like, not wearing any clothes?"

Rogue put her hand in the box, searching for a receipt of some sort, explaining this, thing. She pulled out a box that had pictures of three different types of male organs on the front.

"Oh my God, it's a sex toy!" Rogue said, staring at the box.

Kitty grabbed the box out of Rogue's hand. "Really, and it has three different penises."

"Give me that." Rogue said, taking the box from Kitty's hand and reading the back.

"One of them vibrates, one of them has motion balls inside and the other one grows then spurts out whatever fluid you put inside of it." She said, staring at the box, then looking at Kitty, followed by Lockheed.

Kitty was purely excited. "Who sent you this?" She started digging through the packing material. "Is there a card?"

Rogue didn't say anything, though she did have a feeling. Rather than let Kitty know how much the gift meant to someone who wasn't able to be touched, she blew up.

"This." She waved the penis box in front of the startled girl's face, "Is some sort of sick joke. Did you have anything to do with this?"

Kitty's eyes widened as she backed toward the door. "No, I promise, it wasn't me. I don't know where it came from."

"If I find out you're even slightly responsible for this, crap, I'm going to knock you two years from next Tuesday." Rogue threatened.

Kitty scrambled through the door and Rogue went to sit back down on the bed. "Professor?" She said out loud.

"Yes, Rogue." The Professor replied in her head.

"I think I want my own room." She said, reaching over and running her bare fingers over the silicone skin that made up her new toy. She then looked over at Lockheed, who was sitting on Kitty's headboard.

"You open your beak about this and I'm gonna do the same thing to you too."

/GG/

One Week Later

Remy was in the middle of a work out session when Piotr walked into the room and handed him a letter.

"What's this?" Gambit asked, wiping sweat from his brow with the back of his hand.

"I do not know." Piotr said. "There is no return address. Maybe it is from one who does not wish to be known."

Gambit took the letter and walked to his room, trying to see if there was any evidence of a bomb inside. He had pissed enough people off, his family included, that it wouldn't be too far fetched an idea.

He put the letter down; next to a new deck of cards he had recently opened. It took a moment for him to remove the jokers and shuffle the deck, then he picked up the top card and it was the king of hearts. The letter would wait until after he'd had a chance to shower.

When he reached the door to the shower, he got a feeling. The man decided to open the letter first, since it seemed to be calling out to him. He reached over and started to pull the back off, then slowly slipped the thin piece of paper out of it's sheathe.

He unfolded the paper and started to read, "I know it was you, who sent me the doll. I should have you thrown in jail for corruption of a minor; but you'd probably break out. My friends would hand me back over to Apocalypse if they knew I had even thought of writing you a thank you, but I honestly have to say, that is the nicest gift anyone has ever given me. The untouchable's gift. I won't tell you if I kept it or not, but I appreciate the gesture. Maybe we're starting to convert you. Rogue."

Remy folded the paper and put it back into the envelope. There was something he had to take care of back home, maybe he would take this girl with him. He picked up another card; this time the queen of hearts. Yes, the cards were speaking to him, like they used to speak to old Dan, before he died. Rogue would be essential for the plan to work.


End file.
